Ripped off!

This is the breakfast of champions for the sort of people who don't give themselves enough time in the morning to enjoy the true breakfast of champions (which is anything served alongside an ice-cold glass of pure grain alcohol). It's usually the top thing I look forward to in the morning. So this morning, there I was, with my trail mix bar, excited for the seed-y and almond-y goodness that awaited me. Pop the sucker open and LOOK AT WHAT I GET. Good job, Nature Valley cutting machine! Good job, Nature Valley trail mix bar quality control supervisor! How am I supposed to have an enjoyable day full of fun and entertainment when I'm getting ripped off by my breakfast? I don't even know!

New Year's Revolutions

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197
1693993751058209749445923078164062862089
9862803482534211706792148086513282306647
0938446095505822317253594081284811174502
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11330530548820466521384146951941511609433
057270365759591953092186117381932611793105
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94946395224737190702179860943702770539217
17629317675238467481846766940513200056812
714526356082778577134275778960917363717872
14684409012249534301465495853710507922796
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04995105973173281609631859502445945534690
83026425223082533446850352619311881710100
03137838752886587533208381420617177669147
30359825349042875546873115956286388235378
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78865936153381827968230301952035301852968
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50983817546374649393192550604009277016711
3900984882401285836160356370766010471018
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01414419735685481613611573525521334757418
49468438523323907394143334547762416862518
98356948556209921922218427255025425688767
179049460165346680498862723279178608578438


Pi, to 1,799 digits. 1798 if you don't count the 3. I wanted a nice even number so I stuck a random copy/paste of pi from The Internet (TM) into MS Word (TM) and shortened it until the character counter showed 1,800. Then, I joyfully ran over here (by clicking the window) and pasted it in, super proud of myself to have the 1,800 digits of pi. Then I realized that stupid MS Word isn't programmed to ignore the three and the decimal point when counting the digits of pi, so I'm stuck with 1,799 digits. DEAR BILL GATES: PLEASE TO MAKE MS WORD COUNT PI BETTER.

Anyway, the main point of that is that I'm trying to learn more digits of pi this year, just so I can say I learned something new and be really hoity-toity and show off at parties.

So in that last sentence I mispelled "anyway" to "anway" and thought of "Amway" and realized that the term "Pyramid Scheme" is pretty accurate in that it's a lot of underlings working towards the greater good of one person above. Except in Amway they aren't slaves and they don't all get freed by Moses. Unless they do. New book idea: The brother of the founder of Amway comes to all the Amway employees and takes them away to wander the desert for 40 years or so (I don't read the bible, just take the old testament and replace "Moses" with [character name] and Pharoah with [Amway founder] and with and desert with [wherever they end up] and forty years with [until they get tired of being there] because really, in this day and age we can get the hell out of the desert if we want).

What happened when the Sphinx sold you a plastic pyramid souvenir for $100?

E-GYPT YOU.